nights like these

Nights like these, I struggle.

There are so many things that were ‘ours’. Places, music, inside jokes. I can’t listen to Andrew Bird without wanting to throw things. I can’t watch Star Trek or Big Bang Theory or Walking Dead without feeling ill. I catch myself giggling at something and realize there’s no longer anyone that understands why it’s even funny. It still hurts to breathe, nearly three months later.

I put up a pretty good front. Most of my friends kinda figure I’m long since over this phase of things. I don’t bother confiding because most of them never knew ‘us’ well to begin with. Most days I’m fine and then nights like these… I lose it.

The worst part? I know it’s a one-sided struggle. He moved on before he ever even told me goodbye.

ch-ch-ch-changes…

I’m now 32 years old. Yesterday’s birthday was a very, very hard one to take.

I’m now living alone, for the first time in years. Infer from that what you will.

I’m realizing who my real friends are, something I probably could have figured out a long time ago if I would have opened my eyes.

I’m entering into a period of change that I don’t want — if I could fight it with every bit of my being, I would — but that I know has to happen for my life to keep moving forward.

I’m scared, I’m angry, I’m bitter, and most of all, I’m just completely confused.

See? It’s official!

ninjas!

Originally uploaded by kajrules

As seen at the Domino’s at 21st and Mithoeffer…
 

It’s way past beer thirty.

Whoopee, an update!

We’re headed out to the IMA to see Raiders of the Lost Ark (hooray for picnic dinners and Bell’s Oberon!) so here’s a hodgepodge of awesomeness for you:

*Not so long ago, my fantastic friends Jen and Barb got married. Here’s a bit of their story. Without getting too political (don’t have the time or temper right now), two of my best friends are happy together and I think it’s wonderful. I wish I could take credit for their meeting, but McBookstore gets that particular accolade.

*I have decided that this is the perfect alarm clock for me, if it didn’t have the potential to break my wallet in seriously awful ways. I’m the worst snooze-hitter in the WORLD.

*What are you doing on Sunday, June 3? Nothing, you say? Not anymore! My friend’s band, the Strokin’ Aces, are playing their first battle-of-the-bands concert at Birdy’s. Tickets at the door are $10 – come out and support local music and help them get to the next round. Bring earplugs, these guys can crank!

*Speaking of stuff to do, come out to the Vintage Indiana Wine Festival tomorrow (June 2) and say hello! We’ll be working the French Lick Winery tent all day, and I’ll be trying desperately to keep my hands off their Heaven’s View Norton. Mmm, so good.

*Anyone want to buy a Lollapalooza ticket? Just one, but I’ll sell for the unheard of price of $120. Three days of killer music for $75 less than the going list price. You know you want to go…

*And saving the best for last… the apex of the lolcat meme… it’s LOLST!

pass the popcorn

The Indianapolis International Film Festival is wrapping up today, and for the first year, I actually got to see more than one film!  We decided to purchase a 10 ticket bundle (5 movies each) this year, and overall, it was definitely worth it.  Here’s a rundown of what we saw: 

*The Buffy the Vampire Slayer sing-along.  Yes, you read that right.  There is in fact a particular episode of the Buffy TV show where, in full-on musical style, they sing, dance and carry on like demented Broadway castaways.  Somehow, this has morphed into a Rocky-Horror-type spectacle, with attendees dressing in character and bringing props.  There’s even a devotee who goes from city to city orchestrating this madness.  At the urging of several friends, we decided to check it out.  It was fun!  The theater was packed with BIG fans, so we stood out a little, but we quickly got into the signing.  And the dancing dry-cleaning.  And the bunnies.  BUNNIES! 

*The Ten, a collection of vignettes dealing with the tribulations of The Ten Commandments, put together by the same people who were behind Wet Hot American Summer.  Some of the shorts fell flat.  However, a couple of them were downright amazing – who knew Winona Ryder had it in her?  There was a lot of over-the-top disgusting humor, but given the context of the comedy, it only made it that much funnier.  Naked men, sex with wooden puppets, murder, sodomy, this movie had it all in liberal doses.  It sure got the crowd talking. 

*First on the Moon, a faux documentary about the Russian space race and the attempt to be the first on the Moon in the 1930’s.  The premise was really intriguing, but the movie flopped on several different levels.  First, it was about 45 minutes TOO LONG.   It got almost painful near the end.  Second, the plot was meandering and just confusing.  A Russian-narrated documentary, with subtitles in English, based in the thirties with flips into the late 80’s, with random edits and even more random dialogue… it was crazy.  I wanted to like it, I really did.  Parts of it were brilliant, but we were wholly disappointed overall. 

*Fido, a tongue-in-cheek mishmash between Pleasantville and Night of the Living Dead.  The small town of Willard is hit by the Zombie Wars, and figures out that if they put collars on the zombies, they become docile, subservient and, well, they make good pets.  The cinematography on this film was nothing short of amazing!  Bright, crisp, well, executed.  The characters were a bit flat, but given the fifties-ish background, it played out well.  As the movie’s tagline says, “sometimes it takes a dead man to teach us all what it means to be alive”.  Plus, you really just can’t go wrong with zombies.  This was my favorite film of the festival. 

*Swedish Auto, a dark drama about… stalking.  And Volvos.  And a beautiful soundtrack.  I was expecting more Benny and Joon, but it turned out to be more Romeo & Juliet.  The plotline really played up the star-crossed lovers bit, they weren’t happy without each other but couldn’t be happy with each other… it got to be a bit much after awhile.  And while the cinematography was again very pretty, the plot had holes like swiss cheese that it didn’t even try to answer.  I think the word “befuddled” was what my fella used to explain the storyline, and I’m inclined to agree.  Though I do have to admit, Lukas Haas has permission to stalk me in the dark any time he wants. 

Kudos to the IIFF folks for putting this together and making it run (mostly) smoothly.  I heard a few horror stories, but nothing shocking.  Ticket sales were up nearly 15%, which I think is an encouraging sign for the future of the festival.  We’ll be volunteering next year, and I expect to see you ALL there.

help us Race for the Cure!

Tomorrow morning is supposed to be beautiful.  What better way to take in the awesome weather than by walking for a great cause? 

This is sort of a last-minute pitch, but our team this year, Team Annie, is walking (not running!) in tomorrow morning’s annual Race for the Cure.  If you want to join us, come on down to IUPUI tomorrow morning and join the madness that is 40,000 people trying to go the same direction at varying rates of speed.   

But if getting up early to walk doesn’t appeal to you, how about donating to the team?  I’m hoping we can get to $1500 before race day tomorrow, so this is my last-ditch effort to push us over that mark.  See Kelly grovel!  See Kelly beg!  See Kelly push her bum knee to the limit! 

Seriously, though, we’re walking in memory of a deeply missed friend and mentor.  Annie lost her battle with breast cancer last February, and I can’t think of a better way to honor her memory (and the memory of all those affected with/by breast cancer) than by raising as much cash as possible in the hope of a cure.  

I hope that some of you out there can help… and if nothing else, send good thoughts when I’m at mile 3 and my leg feels like it’s going to fall off!

We are what we imagine ourselves to be.

“I want to stay as close to the edge as I can without going over.  Out on the edge you see all kinds of things you can’t see from the center.”

The New York Times is reporting that Kurt Vonnegut died today, from a brain injury he received in a fall.  Before the blogs get clogged up with words like ‘innovator’ and ‘visionary’, and before the city wrestles out from underneath the fairly large wrench this throws into the “Year of Vonnegut”,  I just want to say that the man penned the first novel that ever truly touched me.

Yep, that’s right.  Ms. Voracious Reader, Yours Truly of the Book Club Circuit, had never cried reading a book until she picked up Cat’s Cradle. 

I started reading the book on the day after my 21^st birthday, a day when nothing was going right and I was looking for something to read that reminded me of Indiana.  At the time, all I knew about “Hoosier” authors was neatly folded into Booth Tarkington, Gene Stratton Porter and Vonnegut, so I chose door #3.   

I won’t critique the book—god knows so many people have tried—but I’ll tell you that as quirky and disconcerting as this novel has been said to be, it was absolutely perfect for me at that time in my life.  It got me reading again after an extended absence.  It got me thinking again, after swearing off higher education.  And most of all, it got me dreaming again. 

“We are what we imagine ourselves to be.”

I believe strongly that a person’s way through life is full  of missed opportunities, uncharted paths, bad choices and spur-of-the-moment decisions.  If I had picked up “Girl of the Limberlost” that day, what would have happened?  Kurt, you played the tiniest of tiny roles in shaping who I am today, and I know full well how sweeping and self-important that sounds… but I think it’s the truth.

Rest in Peace, Mr. Vonnegut.  Thank you for the stories. 

We the PPYL…

The next Planned Parenthood Young Leaders (PPYL) event is the Second Annual “Safe Sex in the City” Concert, celebrating National Condom Awareness Week.  It will be held on Saturday, Feb. 10, 2007 at Radio Radio in Fountain Square. 

Performing artists include Weeds of Eden, Kevin Mohl and the Burning Sensation, and Red Moon.  Come early for great giveaways and information celebrating the most common of contraceptives, and stay for the great music!  

If you haven’t heard of PPYL, we (yes, we—I’m a member) are a group of young, like-minded professionals who gather to socialize, network and promote the mission of Planned Parenthood of Indiana. PPYL’s mission is to empower young professionals to serve as protectors of reproductive health and choice for the next generation. 

Besides, where else can you go to find party favors this useful?

Colts Win the Super Bowl! (Hell freezing as we speak)

As Bob Lamey would say, we won the freakin’ Super Bowl!

 

I still can’t really believe it.  What a cool thing for the city and for the fans, who have waited for this for a very long time.  What a great thing for Dungy, and all that his victory means to the team and to the NFL community.  What an awesome thing for Peyton Manning, exorcising those “what if?” demons in one fell swoop. 

And Prince for the halftime show = complete and utter awesomeness. 

Go Colts!

Cherry Stomp!

The time is here, ladies and gentlemen…  

In just over a week, the hard-hitting ladies that make up the Naptown Roller Girls ‘Tornado Sirens’ travel team will be taking on the Music City Rhythm & Bruisers right here at the Indiana State Fairgrounds!   

Roller derby has made a comeback, and this all-female, all-badass team is hell-bent on making a first impression in the roughest way possible.  This city will never be the same, and you NEED to be there to witness it!   

The team has been working hard for almost a year, from the humble beginnings falling down on rental skates and grinding over asphalt in a Southside church parking lot, to our first organized practices, to the completely hard core group of skaters we have today!  It’s been an amazing ride.

Mark your calendars for Saturday, January 13, and buy your ticket in advance here – they’re $5 cheaper than they will be at the door, so you can use that $5 for beer or nifty Tornado Sirens merchandise.  

Bring friends, bring strangers, bring that random guy that you kissed on New Year’s Eve, bring the random guy’s jealous girlfriend!  

And if you’d like to help out with the event in any way, we can definitely use your assistance!  Leave me a comment and I’ll put you in touch with the right people.